Christmas… the most wonderful time of the year (supposedly).

Don’t get me wrong- I love Christmas. I love the lights, the decorations, the smell of pine trees. I love the minced pies, the hot chocolates, and being cozied up with a film.

But to pretend it’s always roses wouldn’t be true and whilst it can be amazing to spend time with family, it can also be highly challenging and stress inducing.

If spending time with family is giving you anxiety this holiday season, here are my top tips to survive a family Christmas.

 

 

1) Give yourself space

An intense Christmas period with family can be overbearing so give yourself space when you can. If financially viable this might mean booking a hotel, providing you a sanctuary to escape to. Don’t worry if this isn’t an option- there are other small but effective ways to give yourself some breathing room. For example, offer to run those last-minute errands to get away from the madness (and score some brownie points), head out for a walk, take a long bath or take yourself off for a 10-minute mediation. This also means you allow time and space to process any emotions that are arising- get curious what is triggering you so you can begin to work through it.

 

2) Go easy on the booze

I love a Christmas tipple- my weakness is a Bailey’s hot chocolate. When you’re feeling stressed, it can be ever so tempting to slip into that gentle numb that comes with a few drinks, particularly with such a focus on alcohol at this time of year. However, one too many can quickly lead to tears, arguments and an escalation of tension in the wrong environment. To minimise the risk, stick to your limit and remain in control of the situation.

 

 

3) Ask others about themselves

Often when we’re struggling or anxious, we become insular, our minds whirling a thousand miles per hour with thoughts. An easy way to break out of this is to ask others about themselves. You never know- you might learn something about a family member you never knew, or gain some understanding that helps soften relations.

 

4) Practice empathy

 

 

When you’re feeling triggered by a family member it’s easy to quickly jump into defensive mode. Taking a moment to try and see the situation from their perspective, practising empathy, can ease the high emotions you’re feeling. Remember – when someone aggressively questions or attacks you, they are usually projecting their own fears onto you. Stay strong in your belief in yourself and your life choices.

 

5) Say ‘No’

It’s so easy at Christmas to say yes to everyone and everything- then before you know it you’re drained and resentful of the trip around the country to see your cranky Great Auntie Margret. Keep your sanity and practice self-care by maintaining boundaries. Christmas is not the only time of year you can visit family so remove the pressure and maintain a schedule that works for you too.

Sending you so much love this Christmas time,

Alexandria x

How do you cope with family at christmas?

Let me know in the comments below, I’d love to hear your tips!

 

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